I find myself in a season of life that I have never ever experienced before. I find myself in a season of life where there are no longer words. Where I can’t even share what I am going through because I feel so shell shocked. Somewhere along the way I turned over to autopilot, I had to. There was no other way to get through. I’m functioning. I’m moving forward. I’m being, but it’s all on the outside.
“How much longer?” I cry out. “How much
more of this must I take? ”
Somewhere, I don’t know when, I reached my end, and here I am – finished.
And so, tonight, I choose rest. I choose rest for the sake of survival. I choose rest because I need to. I choose rest because I feel like I can’t. I choose rest because I am chosen, redeemed, loved. I choose rest because I am lost in the wilderness and I am afraid. I choose rest because I can’t make a way. I choose rest because I am no longer in control. I choose rest because now I have to trust. My only option is to trust, there is no other way.
And so, here I am, in this place. Surrendered.